Are there any benefits to aging that counterbalance, oh say, widowhood and poverty? If so, what are they? Well, the list is damn short. But here are five benefits to begin. And I’ll add more. You can, too, if you like:
No more self improvement books. I never again have to try to improve myself (which has mostly just produced years of angst). Same goes for books on better business practices. Today my attitude is fuck that. For a fun post on this subject see Lynne Spreen.
Better shoes. I don’t buy heels anymore. Ever. Shoes are for comfort more than cute. And I don’t give a rat’s ass whether you think my legs looked better in stilettos. Something similar to this is pretty true for underwear, too, and if its brand is Spanx you’ll never find me in it, but that’s all anyone needs to know about that.
The salve of the long view. When you can remember as far back as Eisenhower, you’ve seen damn near every kind of hijinx the government can perform. This includes Republican cloth coats and a dog named Checkers, release of private medical records, pubic hair on Coke cans, attacks on a candidate’s spouse for not being pretty, private office break-ins, unusual locations for cigars. Makes today’s news just seem more of the same. The human condition disappoints, and it has for decades. At this age, I have little I can say other than suck it up, Cupcake.
Better medical care. I’ve spent thousands on insurance every year for years. I’ve finally made it to Medicare. It’s cheaper and better. Of course, there will soon be no doctors. BTW? If you think Obamacare is all bad, here’s hoping you and your dependent have no preexisting conditions.
Better education to fall back on. So much of what we learned in school comes back now, now when there is more time to read and consider. The farther we get from the debacle that “no child left behind” has left behind, the better. You youngsters reading this may be the last generation who can read anything unless you do the teaching to your kids yourselves. God knows teachers have been handcuffed.
There. That’s at least four or five things to piss off just about everyone. Sorry if you are one of the piss-ees … that’s what comments are for. Go for it.
PS. Remember that Bear in Mind is on sale for a few more days on Kindle.