Sis and I spent the Thanksgiving break in California trying to suck in enough sun to face a Washington winter. We stayed in a lovely place that is normally too rich for riffraff such as ourselves. But Thanksgiving can offer up some remarkable deals. Here’s the view from our room. Pretty, huh?

San Diego has no fresh water to speak of so it cherishes what it has. Which brings me to the real subject of this post: low water toilets. For those of you who might be offended by a David Sedaris sort of topic, stop now. Of course, if you were easily offended you would have quit reading my blog months ago.

I live on the Canadian/US border. We have 40 border patrol agents with nothing much to do. That’s because they persist in looking for illegal aliens and terrorists. What they should be looking for is toilets. I understand there is a brisk business in old fashioned crappers coming illegally to neighborhoods like ours … you know, the ones that use enough water to actually flush away, well, you know.

So anyway. This San Diego hotel has the lowest low water toilets I have ever seen. I don’t think there’s an eye dropper full to ease each flush. Clearly this is dangerously little to do a clean up on number one and is absolutely hopeless on number two. You just know if you use a toilet like that, you will be calling the hotel plumber. Or leaving your room in the dark of night, hoping no one will point you out as the one with the enormous you knows.

Here’s a confession. We stayed three days, and I never used our toilet for that purpose. I skulked down to the lobby restroom on those occasions. They had real toilets there. Ones that gush when you flush. I wasn’t the only one who discovered this. There was actually a line up of grateful guests.